SYNOPSIS - ENGLISH BABU DESI MEM
("ENGLISH GENTLEMAN, INDIAN LADY")

  1. Hari Mayur, son of the British Asian business magnate Gopal Mayur, flees an unwanted marriage by hopping on his plane and flying for his beloved motherland, India. He crashes on the coast near Bombay and is found by a beautiful maid named Atariya. When his body is not found, his family assumes he is dead, and he lets them, marrying Atariya and living happily, quietly, and anonymously in an Indian village.

  2. Atariya gets pregnant. Her little sister Bijuriya is devoted to the unborn child, whom they have named Nandlal.

  3. At the Diwali festival, Hari dances (SONG: NACHO RE). A fire breaks out and he saves Atariya, but just barely. They are both badly burned and Atariya goes into premature labor. The child is born healthy but Atariya and Hari, who have promised each other they would never be parted, both die from their burns.

  4. Hearing the doctors' plans to put little Nandlal into an orphanage, Bijuriya kidnaps the child. The doctors give chase, but when they realize how wonderful are her innate mothering skills, they decide to let her keep the child.

  5. In order to support Nandlal, Bijuriya takes up odd jobs, eventually becoming a nightclub dancer. (SONG: SOLAH BARAS KI)

  6. Bijuriya's job involves dodging all sorts of skeezy men, like her boss Banjo and her overzealous fan Bheem Khalasi. Nandlal's greatest dream is to see her married and safely away from her dangerous profession. He prays for it daily.

  7. Hari's younger brother Vikram is a great success in the business world. When Hari's old friend Madadgaar sees Vikram interviewed on TV, he knows the resemblance is too great for coincidence - he is looking at Hari's brother. Vikram's wealth may help Bijuriya and Nandlal out of their dire straits, but Madadgaar doesn't entirely trust Vikram - he bears an open, blazing contempt for India, and must be pretty rotten in order to drive a man to pretend to be dead. He decides to lure Vikram to India through a bit of petty fraud.

  8. Vikam receives notice that he's being sued in India for his brother's crime of setting up a business solely to drive another business to bankruptcy. Stunned by the notion that his brother might have surived the plane crash, Vikram travels to India to investigate.

  9. Vikram arrives, only to learn that not only Hari survive to marry, but that he also had a son - the Mayur heir! He demands to meet the boy. Bijuriya is very reluctant, insisting that she meet Vikram first.

  10. At their meeting, Bijuriya dresses up and pretends to be a maharani (queen). Vikram, who was expecting his nephew's guardian to be old and poor, is taken with her beauty and reassured that Nandlal is in good hands.

  11. Later. Vikram can't get Bijuriya out of his mind. He catches a ship from Bombay to the village to look for her. On the way, a boy (actually Nandlal!) shines his shoes. He can't find hide nor hair of her, but he misses the last ship back to Bombay. Nandlal pops up again and offers to help him out. They have a long discussion and take a real liking to each other.

  12. Vikram stumbles into the beer bar where Bijuriya is performing (SONG: PHIR KYA HUA). He is furious when he sees the truth of her identity. Later, she tells him that even though he thinks she's a prostitute, she's honorable. Yet if she had to, she would sacrifice her honor on this very bed. He tells her that if he was what she thought he was, he'd have her on this very bed. But all he wants is Nandlal. Bijuriya is highly alarmed.

  13. Vikram gets the birth and wedding certificates that he needs to prove Nandlal is his nephew. He then procures a court order that forces Bijuriya to let him see Nandlal. Again, they get along famously, and Vik spoils Nandlal rotten. Nandlal begins to get irritated with Bijuriya's rustic ways.

  14. Vikram tempts Nandlal to come with him to London by showing him a video tape of the Mayurs' palatial residence. But Nandlal confides, regretfully, that he cannot leave India until Bijuriya is married. That, he tells Vikram, is why he sells cigarettes and polishes boots instead of going to school - to make money to offer to God in her name. Vikram is infuriated with Bijuriya for letting her ward suffer on her behalf, and he decides to take her to court for custody of Nandlal.

  15. Bheem Khalasi, who cannot forget Bijuriya's beauty, decides to go back to Bombay and get her.


  16. Bijuriya, having received the summons, wants to file a countersuit saying Vikram planted a bomb on his brother's plane(??!). Madadgaar advises her that only the rich can afford to win trials. He advises her instead to attack. Points out that Vikram was enamored of her in the beginning, and suggests that if she were to make him fall in love with her, he'd do anything. She agrees.

  17. Madagaar then goes to Vikram and insinuates that at the beginning, Bijuriya thought he was a real prince, and because of that she got nervous and said some stupid things. Vikram is highly skeptical. But he concocts a plan: to flirt with her and reveal her true colors to Nandlal's discerning eyes, after which Nandlal will surely hate her for being a cheap woman.

    INTERMISSION

  18. Vikram arranges for Bijuriya to be kidnapped so he can save her and play the hero. One of the men in on the plan rats to Bheem Khalasi, who plans to make it into a real kidnapping.

  19. Vikram and Bijuriya go out to dinner. (SONG: COME ON BABY) She's kidnapped and he follows. But when he acts in the manner he and the villains previously agreed upon, things don't go according to planned. He rallies and saves her anyway. She's very impressed. (SONG: MAIN TERA DEEWANA)

  20. They make up and grow verrrry fond of each other. Nandlal thanks God for granting his wish. But then it becomes clear that while Bijuriya is not playacting, Vikram is.

  21. Banjo comes looking for Bijuriya and runs into Nandlal, whom he tells that Vikram will never marry her. In response, Nandlal goes to the local priest to fix the wedding date.

  22. When Nandlal goes to Vikram to inform him of the wedding date, Vikram breaks the news: there's not going to be a wedding. Nandlal gets very upset - says that Bijuriya is not a prostitute to be kissed without marriage, she's Nandlal's mother. Announces that he's no longer related to Vikram.

  23. Nandlal rebukes God, but then decides it's his own fault, a punishment for selling cigarettes and lying to his mom and ditching school. When he doesn't come home, Bijuriya gets worried and goes to Vikram's to find him. Vikram tells her about Nandlal polishing boots and working for black marketeers for her sake - says that her nasty professsion is Nandlal's greatest sadness, and his greatest happiness would be to get her married - and adds that Nandlal's childhood has been murdered by his struggle to see her married. Bijuriya is disbelieving.

  24. When Bijuriya discovers the proof that Vikram's claims are true (wedding sari and boot polishing utensils), she is devastated. She decides it is in Nandlal's best interests for him to go with Vikram - and in order to make him do so, she'll make him hate her so much he won't be able to stay. When he returns home she tells him she's in love with Banjo and is going to marry him. She adds that Nandlal is a jinx and a burden to her. Shattered, Nandlal runs to his uncle's. But when he hears his uncle making arrangements for them to travel to the UK, he runs back to Bijuriya. She locks him out of the house. (SONG: JANOO NA)

  25. Vikram comes to Bijuriya's with a court document which she must sign. It states that she's received full payment for taking care of Nandlal, and is ceding all rights to see or contact him. She says she'll sign only when she gets the cash. He has Nandlal bring it inside. She signs it, and they leave.

  26. Banjo comes and takes the cash. She fights him, saying it belongs to her child and she must return it to him. She begs him for mercy. He says he will let her keep the cash if she does as she's told to do. Flashback: he remembers how he has sold her to Bheem Khalasi.

  27. Madadgaar drops by Bijuriya's on his way to the airport to see off Nandlal and Vikram. She is heading out the door. She gives him the suitcase of cash to give to Nandlal, and tells him to tell Nandlal that the suitcase is filled with his toys.

  28. (SONG: RAB DIKHTA) Bijuriya performs for Bheem Khalasi. Nandlal senses that Bijuriya needs him and refuses to board the plane. The suitcase breaks and all the cash spills out - they realize that Bijuriya is not a greedy avaricious witch after all. They go to her rescue and save her just in time.

  29. Vikram and Bijuriya are married. Happy ever after, credits.

 

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